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I don't really know how i... oh wait now i remember. that guy is 2 years younger than me. Well, age doesn't really matter right? Saw him tweeted some quotes. love quotes mostly. and there i was falling in love with the quotes he tweeted which i thought was for me. well too fucking bad it's not for me ha ha ha. it was when i knew that he has a crush on someone else. c'mon! that faking girl he had a crush on has the same name as me. how could i not think his friends' teasing tweets were about me. haha well that was awkward.
Talk about detail, one day i was sitting innocently, drunk in love with my friends waiting for the bus to go to some school activity while hoping to see him walking pass that place. i was happy at that time. ha ha ha until his friend came to me and ask me whether i have feelings for him or not. Well, it's his friend so i denied and she sounds a bit relieved to hear that. Then, she told me that that faking guy (i'm sorry for calling u that ha ha) wanted to tell me that he has someone else. k.................... lol.
can you feel how heartbroken i was??? i cried along my way to the bus. at that time i really really hate him. i fucking hate him for making me feel special with our late night twitter conversations. i fucking hate him for thinking that he likes me. i fucking hate him for liking a girl that have the same name as mine (this is serious SHIT!!) yup. i've reached my breaking point and i started to treat him coldly cibai like he fucking cares at that time haha
when we're about to bump with each other at school, i will give him that stare. well not really a stare but it's the cold stare where i just look forward pretending to hat he's not there.
yeah and umm a few months later. his another friend who is sodium square's friend told sodium square (SSQ). eh wait fyi, SSQ is my close friend haha i forgot to introduce her. So, his friend who turned out to be one of SSQ's close friend too told SSQ that that faking guy cried because of me. I was like... err kenak nya nangis? So he explained to me that he actually cared about me and his feeling for me is starting to grow. I did a monologue, "mesti nya kenak reject.. pfftt" I still have my ego yk. I fucking hate him.
Still remember his friend who told me about his 'crush'? Yeah, in the phase where my hate for him is growing, she told me that he was worried when he knew about me moving to another city. He told her that my tweet about that made his eyes watery. Hmmm i'm starting to feel guilty. But why do i feel guilty? Why do i feel guilty to someone who broke my heart like never before?? It hurts like shit man. Tbh, i still have a bit of grudge about that on him :(
I don't how or when or what, one day i was playing with my phone and i get a ws from an unknown number. yeah............. guess what//// it was from him. he sent me a pic of a cat. that was cute but i still have that ego man. i replied him a few minutes after that... sigh. he made me even guiltier. i just.. heh. he said sorry and coincidentally, that day was muslim's new year and he apologizes for everything he did. if only he knows what and i know what apologies he wants from me at that time
we started to have a lot of conversations through ws. bla bla feelings change man and i'm starting to fall for him again but this time cautiously.
to cut it short, we're ummm not really a couple right now but urgh okay u can say that.
so
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this is the end.
